Ready for the Beach!

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Hey! My friends on the internet! It is almost that time of year! Salt! Sand! Sun burns! Mosquito bites! And my very favorite, chaffed legs!
While all you northeners are chillin’ in your 90 degree environment, just think about us poor, poor, southeners, forced to endure months of weather where 103 is the norm. But hey, my summer wouldn’t be complete with a nice heatwave!
Today I’m uh-gunna be sharing some of my least favorite things about summer!
Salt: Uh. Us Floridians are not as lucky as it seems. Every long weekend, we will go to the beach. You will get salt in your scalp. It will itch, but NO, you can NOT scratch it because then it looks like you have lice! YAY!
Sand: It does not matter where you go swimming, (Pool, Lake, River, Beach, Gulf, etc…) you will end up with sand in the bottom of your bathing suit, I don’t know how it get’s there, especially if you’re in a pool or you’ve been on the back of a jet skii all day, but it does.
Sunburns: I am a lilly white. O.K. I’m not a lilly white, I’m a fricking vampire (slayer). Yet again, Florida and water sports have lead me to many a sun burns.
When I say burns, I mean burns. Like, you can smell bacon cooking. Alright, not that bad. However, to add to the sun burn problem, I am also allergic to something in most types of sunscreen. We have to rub zinc (the stuff life guards put on their noses) all over me, so not only do I look like i’m from Sunnydale, I also look blue when I get out of the water.
Mosquito Bites: ‘Nugh said.
Chaffed Legs: Another problem associated with the beach. Don’t get me wrong, I love the beach, and water, but i’m starting to think that it dosen’t like me.
Any ways, after you’ve spent all day at St. Augustine Beach, (If you’ve ever been then you know what i’m talking about) you will have small sand grain sized sea shell grounds stuck to your inner thighs.
To add to that the beach is far away from the beach entrance so you have to traipse over a long, sandy, gritty, arid terrain before finally reaching a small foot rinse. Then you have to hobble to the truck and take the agonizing drive back to the campground/ Hotel/ Condo/ Home.
Well Thanks for reading guys! Oh, and before I go I want to give a shout out to Okinawa, Japan! All of it! Especially LilGibby! Take care all of you! Mr. Bobby, Mrs. Narie, Jos, Chambie, Maddie, Nole, and Lando


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